This year is near to the end and I am glad to see the back of it.
2016 began with a very close friendship breaking up, this caused a lot of heartache for me. I am someone who has a very small inner circle of people,I trust these selected few with my life.
Losing someone from this sacred group was a painful experience. It took nearly 11 months for us to make amends and renew our friendship again, hopefully this time our bond is stronger and unbreakable.
Whilst I was trying to hold on to the fragile strands of this close relation, there was a girl who I had to let go for my own growth. This friendship was becoming toxic for me, so I finally made the decision to set myself free. When someone has been in your life for a long time, you somehow start to ignore the negativity,continously making excuses for the nasty behaviours but I learnt that it is not the quantity that matters-it is the quality so from now onwards I will measure someone’s worth based on how they make me feel not on the years they have been in my life.
2016 took away my precious aunty,she passed away peacefully in her sleep. This stirred feelings of rage within me, :” why did you take her away?” I screamed out to a silent god.
This loss shook the foundations of my faith, however time is a great healer as they say..it weaves it’s magic like an ice-pack onto the wounds. I miss her lots, instead of weeping I am able to treasure the funny memories we made together.
In the summer of 2016 I met a guy who was simply amazing, my soulmate in so many ways. 3 months later as the season changed so did he.
“Be brave my heart”I kept chanting to myself every night as I cried myself to sleep..wishing for him to feel the same love for me, wanting my happy ever after ending.
We were not meant to be, I was Tinkerbell,light&fairy-like- full of positivity&joy whilst he was battling his own demons-self-loathing & insecure, how could he love me when he didn’t even love himself yet?.
As 2016 comes to a close,I realise that the most important lesson I learnt was when I stopped trying to control things around me this included people as well as my own feelings..when I simply chose to let go & let god..everything fell into place by itself.
This was spiritually enlightening, my heart healed itself, happiness returned to my life and I was able to smile once again.
So goodbye 2016, you are leaving me after teaching me some harsh truths about this unpredictable life. I am more courageous than ever before, ready for the challenges of 2017 ….